Tips for Lightweight Hiking

No Stove (be a man, eat PB&J, lots more calories than ramen anyway)
No pots or pans (God gave you hands)
No fuel canisters (no stove, duh)
No windbreak for stove (see above)
No coffee cup (big yawn and get moving)
No spare batteries if only going for 2 days (plan on staying up all night?)
Copies of pages out of guidebook only, no book (index anyone?)
One headlamp and no flashlight (hands are for eatin)
1 candle max per night out (look at the stars if you’re desperate)
Nylon twine instead of rope (unless you’re hauling your car out the mud)
No compass on established trails (Risky bit that one)
Shoes on your feet should be the only ones with you (flip flops are for public showers)
NO PILLOW (wadded up extra clothes are great)
Lightweight foam pad for under sleeping bag (rocks are good for your back)
2 water bottles max, 1 preferred (use yer filter)
Water Filter (yes, iodine is lighter but it sucks)
Tent (might rain, if not, sleep on ground tarp only)
Sleeping bag (optional in summer)
20 degree sleeping bag in summer?! (You hiking the Arctic circle?)
Backpack (you could carry everything in a pillowcase, but…)
No waterproofing gear if no rain (ask Einstein about this one)
1 extra shirt (for fun)
1 pair extra socks and boxers per night (Cuz jock itch ain’t fun)
Small, lightweight knife only (kill a bear in hand to hand combat if you must)
Toilet Paper (throw that stupid little shovel as far as you can)
Cut your toothbrush in half (either that or use a stick)
Travel size on any toiletries (unless you’re moving in)
No soap, hand sanitizer only (stay inside if you don’t want to get dirty)
Small lightweight handtowel or use your extra shirt (take a shower when you get home)
No kindling or firestarter (lightning kills trees for that, use them if you must)